Of Trains, Planes, and Boarding Annoucements

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, Amtrak announces the boarding of Train 3, The Southwest Chief, at Gate F, Track 18, with intermediate station stops in Naperville, Princeton, Mendota, Galesburg, Fort Madison, La Plata, Kansas City, Lawrence, Topeka, Newton, Hutchinson, Dodge City, Garden City, Lamar, La Junta, Trinidad, Raton, Las Vegas, Lamy, Albuquerque, Gallup, Winslow, Flagstaff, Williams Junction, Kingman, Needles, Barstow, Victorville, San Bernardino, Riverside, Fullerton, and Los Angeles, California."

Now THAT'S a boarding announcement.

And it's nice that they still name trains, isn't it? The Southwest Chief. The Empire Builder. The City of New Orleans and the California Zephyr. The romance has long since left air travel, somewhere between deregulation and flip flops as acceptable travel attire, but the train still carries an air of adventure and excitement. The country unfolds much more elegantly on the train, and travel becomes more than going from point A to point B. I recommend it highly.

Now a suggested airline boarding announcement.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Global Airlines announces the boarding of Flight 1. May we suggest you pay the twenty-five fucking dollars and check your goddamn bag because we're not going to fit everyones oversize crap in the bins. The cargo hold is in the bottom of the plane, not over your head, and all you end up doing is delaying our departure while you complain that there is no more space for YOUR fucking carry-on that's really not, now is it? We beat you on this one, so deal with it. And thank you for flying Global."

And that's today's travelogue.